It’s the question that’s been asked since the beginning of time: “can guys and girls just be friends?” But who really knows the answer? It seems like we go round in circles, one side of the fence proclaiming it’s totally possible while the other side frantically shaking their heads ‘no’ in unison- almost in a panic! So what’s the answer? The best answer to give….. It’s complicated.
Someone is going to catch feelings at one point or another. It’s ALMOST inevitable. Sure, there’s an odd situation every here and there where a guy and a girl never even think about their friend in a romantic way, but the majority of the time it just happens. You might not even be expecting it. It may come completely out of the blue and leave you with thoughts of confusion. But, at one point or another, one of you is going to develop feelings for the other. And that’s totally okay. Being friends, you get to see all of their flaws and all of their best traits. The two of you can have so much fun together and there’s no awkward or sexual tension. Who wouldn’t fall in love? It may be the girl who falls first, or the guy- there’s really no telling. And if the two of you happen to fall for each other at the exact same time, you may be in for one of the best relationships of your life- just saying!
This is where honesty is SO important. Just like any friendship, there should always be honesty. If you start feeling like you may have a crush on your friend, then you NEED to tell them, and make a decision at that point. Do you need a little bit of space from them so the feelings can subside? Do you need to end the friendship before it becomes disastrous? Or do they just so happen to feel the same way, propelling the two of you into a beautiful and amazing boyfriend and girlfriend relationship? Either way, keeping secrets in any friendship is never a good idea. And while you might not want to end your friendship, you’ll only find yourself more and more hurt as the person you’re falling for only wants to remain friends.
There WILL be jealousy. And you CANNOT tell me otherwise. As females, even if another man or woman comes around our best FEMALE friend, we get jealous. We start getting mad that they’re taking our besty away, and that we don’t have as much time to spend together. Well, same thing happens with our guy friends. They start dating someone and suddenly don’t talk as much, don’t hang out as much, and always have this new chick hanging around. It’s normal, but it may cause a bit of confusion. You might start wondering if you like your guy friend as “more than a friend”, but the answer is almost always no. It’s just in our nature to be protective of our friends!
So how can you just be friends? With so much confusion and so many potential problems, how can a man and a woman really be “just friends”?
-There’s no physical attraction. I mean, come on. When you’re not physically attracted to someone, you’re usually not trying to get in their pants- let alone start a relationship with them. However, for some individuals, even though the physical attraction may not be there, they might start to fall for someone’s personality. Which, of course, it a potential breach in the guy and girl friend zone. But most of the time, finding someone you’re not attracted to will help the friendly relationship last.
–You’re both in a relationship. Yes, I understand that even though someone is in a committed relationship they can still breakup and fall for someone else. HOWEVER, fi you both are in a very secure and happy relationship and have absolutely no intention of meeting someone else to date, then you may very well be setting up a great friend relationship.
-You’re both on the same page. This is CRUCIAL. If one of you is seeking a potential relationship and the other isn’t, this could obviously end in tragedy. Both of you need to be on the same page from the very beginning: friends and NOTHING else. If anything changes, the relationship should end completely and immediately.
-There’s just no romantic spark. And yeah, this can totally happen. You can click with someone in EVERY area except sexually, and what does that leave you with? A really awesome friendship that can last, well, forever!
So, can guys and girls just be friends? Although some people won’t agree with me, I have to say the answer is yes- but the chances of the friendship lasting longterm is slim, as there’s so many potential pitfalls in place.
Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite gender?
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