So maybe you’re a little nervous about meeting the parents and that’s ok. They say anything worthwhile should make us a little nervous. However, it’s important that you realize that your boyfriend likes you for who you are and this is not a time to start being fake or put on false pretenses. If you can stay relaxed and not focus on yourself, you’ll have a good time. Focus on making the first meeting fun for everyone and think of it as meeting potential lifelong friends. It’s not about impressing them, it’s about being nice, considerate and getting to know them so you can understand your mate better. Here are a few tips that will help you not offend them when you do get together. Don’t worry, just keep in mind that our actions are the strongest way we communicate.
Put Your Phone Down
Remember, your boyfriend’s parents did not grow up in the cell phone era. They will be offended if you spend half of the night texting on your phone. Use some common sense and realize that it’s best to leave your phone alone for this.
Many people have a technology addiction and seek comfort in their phone. Cell phones have become a temporary release from society and it’s important that we let go of this handicapping habit. You will enjoy your time more if you remain fully present and look them in the eye instead of looking on Instagram.
Remember To Say Thank You
Plan on being grateful. You want to show your appreciation if they buy you dinner or cook you dinner. Be complimenting in a genuine way and don’t make things up. You want to show them you appreciate them taking their time out of their day to meet you and it’s nice to tell them that you were excited to meet them too! Don’t be afraid to express yourself and how happy you are that you and your boyfriend are at this point in your relationship.
Ask Your Boyfriend About Them
It’s important to find out if there is any family drama you should know about. Ask your boyfriend if there are subjects you shouldn’t bring up so you know where any touchy areas are. If his parents are extremely religious or political, this is something you should know. This will just help you from blurting out something innocently that might touch upon a sore spot. If they have different life views than you and your boyfriend, that will be something that you should be sensitive to.
Don’t Be Late
Be sure to leave extra time for any last minute things that might come up so you’re not rushing at the last minute. Don’t show up late because it shows that you don’t really care that much. Make sure you know how to get there and you leave enough time for traffic. Showing consideration by being on time is a good way to make a nice impression. It shows you’re responsible and can follow through with your word. It also shows you respect their time as well.
Dress Appropriately
Make sure you choose your clothing tastefully. Don’t wear something you feel uncomfortable in but make sure you look classy. Your clothes should be clean. Your hair should be neat and your fingernails should be clean. Put in a little extra effort to make sure you are put together so they see that you care about yourself. When a parent sees that you take pride in yourself they are more likely to trust you with their son. If you show up looking sloppy, it indicates that your life is disheveled and they might be less inclined to support the relationship.
Offer To Help Clean Up
If you go to eat at their house, make sure you offer to help clean up. It shows that you’re willing to pitch in and it allows them to see that you think about other people. When they see that you actively look to be helpful, they will feel more comfortable about you dating their son.
Don’t Talk About Yourself Too Much
If you’re a successful person, a smart person or charming, chances are it’s easy to spend hours talking about your accomplishments but don’t do this. Be prepared for them to ask you questions and keep your answers short and humble then ask them about their lives. Do not boast or go on and on about your life. Avoid being arrogant and self centered at all costs. The ego wants to do this so they will like you but it’s not an attractive thing to do. Just be humble and realize your boyfriend probably already filled them in on how great you are.
Avoid Negative Subjects
Do your best to avoid talking about war, poverty, famine, death and disease. It’s good to talk about important subject matters but don’t let your first meeting be depressing. Avoid talking about tough things that you’ve been through and don’t ask them about their personal hardships. Focus on positive things so that everyone will enjoy their time. You can talk about goals and ask them about theirs. You can talk to them about how you support your boyfriend’s goals too. This will allow them to see that you’re a positive person which is very important. Be conscious of your words and the subjects you bring up. Steer the conversations positively when others bring up negative subjects as well.
Don’t Be Too Touchy
They know you like their son but don’t be all over him when you meet his parents. It can make people very uncomfortable when they are first getting to know you. Of course some families are more touchy than others but don’t make out or be inappropriate when you meet them, it’s pretty disrespectful. It’s nice to give his parents hugs though if you feel comfortable so they feel like you guys are all friends. Handshaking is awkward and formal and hugs help open people up.
Smile and Be Happy
Be excited that you have reached this stage in your relationship and don’t let your mind dread this milestone. This is an opportunity to grow in your relationship and it should make you happy. This moment means a lot to everyone so make sure to smile as much as you can. Remember smiling is contagious and people like to be around happy people. Even if you’re stressed about other things in your life, just focus on being happy while you meet the parents.
Finally, if you’re still feeling nervous, try changing your perspective with a positive affirmation such as, “this is going to be really fun,” or “I’m really looking forward to getting to know them better.” Don’t let the images Hollywood has ingrained in our minds scare you. In real life, meeting the parents is an awesome thing that will be full of laughs and light hearted conversations not judging and scrutinizing. Relax and you will be fine.
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